THE CURE
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Loading ...Frank has been feeling poorly lately…depressed, stressed, nervous, argumentative.
His wife Estelle, who is by now pretty stressed out herself, finally persuades him to make an appointment with their family doctor, to which she accompanies him.
After the physical, while Frank is getting dressed again in the examination room, the doctor takes Estelle into his office.
“Mrs. Johnson,” says the doctor, “I’m afraid Frank’s stress has affected his heart and blood pressure. I think we have to be prepared to lose him in a month or two.”
“My God!,” says Estelle. “Isn’t there anything we can do?”
“Well, yes there is, but it will take a serious commitment on your part. First of all, when you wake up in the morning, put on something pretty, not just an old housecoat. Always look your best…show him you care what he thinks. Make a hot breakfast for him every day and have it ready when he comes down. Don’t let him wait and start to brood, and don’t let him worry about chores. Let him read the paper and watch TV as much as he wants. Make all his favorites for lunch, and bake a fresh pie or cake every day for dessert. For dinner, don’t use frozen foods…if he wants French Fries, for example, cut them fresh and fry them. That will show him how much you care about him.
And most important, give him sex whenever and whereever he feels like it, and it would be a nice touch if you wakened him every morning by performing oral sex on him. That will show him how much you love and need him. If you work these simple duties into you routine, I’m certain we’ll have Frank around for many, many years.”
As they are driving home, Frank turns to Estelle. “Well, what does the doctor say?”
“He says you’re gonna die.”
