The Doctor Says
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Loading ...The following are direct quotes taken from actual medical records as dictated by physicians:
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped, and he was feeling better.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
She has had no shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
The patient refused an autopsy.
Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
The patient has a past history of suicides.
The patient expired on the floor uneventfully.
She slipped on the ice and her legs went in separate directions in early December.
The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with acute pulmonary edema at home while having sex which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
She is numb from her toes down.
Since she can’t pregnant with her husband, I thought you would like to work her up.
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
The patient was in his usual state of good health until his airplane ran out of gas and crashed.
While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated, and sent home.
Her skin was moist and dry.
Patient suffers from occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
Patient was alert and unresponsive.
When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room.
The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant, with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
