(The Ultimate) yo mamma

Your mama is so fat:
:When she hauls ass she has to make two trips.
:When she dances she makes the band skip.
:When she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
:She puts mayonnaise on aspirin. (<- clearly the winner)
: Her cereal bowl came with a lifeguard.
:When she goes to the zoo the elephants throw her peanuts.
: Her high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.
:Her driver's license says "Picture continued on other side."
:She has to iron her pants on the driveway.
:The back of her neck looks like a pack of hot dogs.

Yo mama’s so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons OR Yo Mama”
Yo mama’s so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.
Yo mama’s so fat, instead of Levis 501 jeans, she wears Levi’s 1002’s.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she gets in an elevator, it HAS to go down.
Yo mama’s so fat, she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s got smaller fat women orbiting around her.
Yo mama’s so fat, she could sell shade.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she crosses the street, cars look out for her.
Yo mama’s so fat, people jog around her for exercise.
Yo mama’s so fat, I ran around her twice and got lost.
Yo mama’s so fat, she gets runs in her jeans.
Yo mama’s so fat, her blood type is Ragu.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn’t get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Yo mama’s so fat, if she got her shoes shined, she’d have to take his word for it!
Yo mama’s so fat, she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
Yo mama’s so fat, she can’t even jump to a conclusion.
Yo mama’s so fat, she broke her leg and gravy dripped out.
Yo mama’s so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.

This joke is filed under Medical, Yo Mama.