Thoughts from within my brain…

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A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station…

What hair color do they put on the driver’s licenses of bald men?

Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it FedUP?

If Stop & Shop and the A&P were to merge would it be called Stop & P?

I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

How come you never hear about gruntled employees?

I don’t have a solution, but I admire your problem.

If a tin whistle is made out of tin (and it is), then what, exactly, is a fog horn made out of?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, “Quit while you’re ahead”?

I believe the only time the world beats a path to my door is when I’m in the bathroom.

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

What WAS the best thing before sliced bread?

If it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called apartments, when they’re all stuck together?

Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?

Why do they call it the Department of the Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to “cure” it?

Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Whatever happened to Absorbine Senior?

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