Top 10 Reasons I Should’ve Stayed Single
10. I’d get to see what my paycheck looks like.
9. I’d get to see what my credit cards look like.
8. I’d remember what an erection looks like.
7. Bachelors don’t have Mother-in-laws.
6. I could use my own name at hotels.
5. I wouldn’t have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.
4. You can see other women better when you don’t have to look out the corner of your eye.
3. When asked his opinion, a single guy can say “Hell yes, you’re fat!”
2. I could put my trophy for “The Biggest Beer Gut” in the living room where it belongs.
1. I could spend more time thinking up jokes instead of excuses.