Vomit on the Shirt
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Loading ...A gentleman spent several hours after work one evening drinking excessively. After gulping down a triple shot of bourbon, he began to feel extremely nauseous. He made a run to the men’s room, but he vomited all over his shirt before he could reach the toilet.
“Oh, for the Love of God! My wife is gonna kill me!! I’m not supposed to be out drinking at all and here I am, with alcohol stinking vomit all over my shirt!!”
“Not to worry, friend,” piped up an individual who happened to be in the restroom at the same time, “Do you happen to have a $20 bill?”
The man who vomited on his shirt handed the stranger a $20 bill who folded it up and put it in the shirt pocket of the drunk.
“When you get home and see your wife, simply tell her that you went out for one drink with the guys from work when some drunk accidently threw up on your shirt. You then pull out the $20 bill and tell her that the guy even gave you money to have the shirt cleaned!”
Well, the drunk thought this was an extraordinary idea. So much so that he went back into the bar and countinued to drink.
Several hours later, he arrives at home to find his wife waiting for him at the door.
“Good Lord!! Look at you!! And look at your shirt! Did you throw up on yourself?”
“No, no, honey, listen,” slurred the drunk, ” I was out, right, then this guy just came up to me and threw up on me! It was horrible!! But look,” he says pulling out the $20 bill, “He gave me money to have my shirt cleaned!”
“Oh yeah?” asked his wife, reaching into his shirt pocket and pulling out another $20 bill, “Then what’s this for?”
“Oh yeah,” replied the bum, “that’s from the guy who shit in my pants!”
