Waiting at the Pearly Gates
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Loading ...A man arrives at the Pearly Gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter reviews the Big Book to see if the man’s name is written in it. After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, “I’m sorry, I don’t see your name written in the Big Book.”
“How current is your copy?” asks the man.
“I get a download every ten minutes,” St. Peter replies, “Why do you ask?”
“I’m embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type,” explains the man. “It was not until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn’t arrived to your copy yet.”
“I’m glad to hear that,” acknowledges St. Peter, “but while we’re waiting for the update to come through, can tell me about an extraordinary deed you did during your lifetime?”
The man thinks for a moment and then says, “Well, there was this one time when I was drivin’ down a road and I saw a group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl. I slowed down to take a look, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of ‘em, torturing this poor woman.”
“What did you do next?” asked St. Peter.
Anyway, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron from the trunk, and approached the leader of the gang. Sure enough, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I’d be next.”
“And, then what happened?” questioned St. Peter.
“Well, I smashed the leader over the head with the tire iron. Then, I turned to the others and yelled, “Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You’re all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in pain!”
St. Peter, duly impressed, exclaims, “Wow! When did this all happen?”
“Oh, about three minutes ago.”