What A Single Woman Wants In A Man

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ORIGINAL List (Before she’s 40 years old)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially Successful
4. A Caring Listener
5. Witty
6. In Good Shape
7. Dresses with Style
8. Appreciates the Finer Things
9. Full of Thoughtful Surprises
10. An Imaginative, Romantic Lover

REVISED List (When she’s 40 years old and beyond)

1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3. Works steady
4. Doesn’t nod off while she’s emoting
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on weekends