What a surprise!
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Loading ...April 26, 1999
Why I Fired My Secretary
Two weeks ago, was my forty-fifth birthday, and I wasn’t feeling too hot that morning anyway. I went into breakfast, knowing my wife would be pleasant and say “Happy Birthday,” and probably have a present for me.
She didn’t even say “Good Morning,” let alone any “Happy Birthday.” I thought, “Well, that’s wives for you.
The children will remember.” The children came in to breakfast and didn’t say a word.
When I started to the office I was feeling pretty low and despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary, Janet said, “Good Morning, Boss, Happy Birthday.”
And I felt a little better; someone had remembered. I worked until noon.
About noon, Janet knocked on my door and said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day outside and it’s your birthday, let’s go to lunch, just you and me.”
I said, “By George, that’s the greatest thing I’ve heard all day. Let’s go.”
We went to lunch. We didn’t go where we normally go; we went out into the country to a little private place. We had two martinis and enjoyed lunch tremendously.
On the way back to the office, she said, “You know, it’s such a beautiful day. We don’t need to go back to the office, do we?”
I said, “No, I guess not.”
She said, “Let’s go to my apartment.”
After arriving at her apartment, we had another martini and smoked a cigarette and she said, “Boss, if you don’t mind, I think I’ll go into the bedroom and slip into something more comfortable.”
“Sure,” I excitedly replied.
She went into the bedroom and, in about six minutes, she came out…carrying a big birthday cake, followed by my wife, children, and dozens of our friends.
All were singing Happy Birthday.
… and there on the couch I sat…
… with nothing on but my socks……
