What Men want from Women: 1 - 10
(No Ratings Yet)
Loading ...ONE- We want you to understand that we don’t give a shit about clothes, all right? Yours OR ours. All we need is one pair of tennies and one pair of church shoes. That’s it.
TWO- Don’t talk to us while the television is on, all right? Very simple: Television is off, we talk. Television is on, we don’t talk.
THREE- When you’re behind the wheel of a car, if you want to get aggressive, that’s fine, but don’t give somebody the finger and expect me to defend your honor when Steroid Lad comes over swinging a pair of nunchucks, all right?
FOUR- Would it kill you to watch “The Godfather” with me for the 57th time?
FIVE- Hey I’m sorry, but some of us see a beautiful sunset and think, “You know, I betcha my accountant is boning me up the ass.”
SIX- You go see Nell by yourself, all right? I met enough chicks like that at “The Drink” when I was single.
SEVEN- Have a sense of humor. Without a sense of humor, a relationship lasts about as long as David Duke at a Black Panther meeting.
EIGHT- Work out your job-related anger before we have sex. Just because Helmut, the office boy, brought you the CUP of lima bean consommi instead of the BOWL of lima bean consommi from Soup Plantation, I don’t want to end up in the friction burn groin ward at Cedars-Sinai, all right?
NINE- Don’t ask us to cry. As much as you say you want us to cry, you don’t really want us to cry. You hate it when we cry. I’ve tried crying in front of my wife. She enjoyed it for about thirty seconds and then started thinking, “Why in the fuck did I marry this hamster?”
TEN- Be patient. Hold us. Love us unconditionally. Help us out of this testosterone-induced fog we dwell in and lead us into the light.
Or if that’s asking too much, how’s about a big sloppy blowjob once in awhile?
