What NOT to Say to a Police Officer

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Since going beyond the speed limit is the national sport in many countries, there is universal disdain for those uniformed creatures who stop you while you are driving. Here are a few things best left unsaid.

- Hey, you must’ve been doing’ about 125 to keep up with me! Good job!

- Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

- Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated?

- Hi Officer, do you mind holding my beer while I find my driver’s license?

- You know, I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.

- “Bad Cop! No Doughnut!”

- You’re NOT gonna check the trunk, are you?

- “Lets do it different this time… I will give you the breathalyzer test, now stick this in your mouth and blow”

- Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on COPS last week?

- Wow, you look just like the guy in the picture next to my girlfriend’s bed.

- I bet I could grab that gun before you finish writing my ticket .

- So, uh, you “on the take”, or what?

- Gee, officer! That’s terrific. The police officer yesterday only gave me a warning too!

- Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

- So, are you still crabby because your mamma didn’t let you play with your gun when you were little?

- Is that a 9 mm? That’s nothing compared to this .44 magnum.

- When you smack the crap outta me, make sure you smile pretty for the Camcorder.

- Is it true that people become policemen because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

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  • What NOT to say to a Police Officer

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    Things Not To Say To The Nice Police Officer

    1. I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.

    2. Sorry, I didn’t realize that my radar detector wasn’t on.

    3. Aren’t you the guy from the village people?

    4. Hey you must have been going 125mph just to keep up with me.

    5. I thought you had to be in good physical condition to be a cop.

    6. Bad cop! No donut!

    7. You’re gonna check the trunk, aren’t you?

    8. I was going to be a cop, really, but I decided to finish high school.

    9. I pay your salary.

    10. That’s terrific, the last guy only gave me a warning also.

    11. Is that a 9mm? It’s nothing compared to this .44
    magnum!

    12. What do you mean, have I been drinking? You’re a trained specialist.

    13. Do you know why you pulled me over? Good, at least one of us does.

    14. That gut doesn’t inspire too much confidence, bet I can outrun you.

    15. Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

    16. Is it true people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonalds?

    17. I was trying to keep up with traffic.

    18. Yes, I know there are no other cars around - that’s how far they are ahead of me.

    19. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.

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