When Men Say…It Means

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Haven’t we met before? =
Nice ass.

I like moonlight walks on the beach. =
I’m broke.

I need you. =
I’m getting too old to be chokin’ the chicken.

It’s just orange juice…try it. =
One of these, she’ll have her legs around my head.

She’s a stuck-up bitch. =
She won’t sleep with me.

Sorry I don’t have time to make you breakfast? =
Who the fuck are you?

I have something to tell you. =
Get tested.

Tonight was fun. I’ll call you. =
I’d rather have my nipples torn off by hyenas than to see you again.

I don’t mind you’ve put on a few pounds…gives me more to love. =
You’re on the Greyhound Express to Dumpsville.

I’m on a long-distance call…can you call me later? =
I forgot to turn on my answering machine.

I think we’ve both grown in this relationship. =
“Next.”