* Horn broken. Watch for finger.
* Keep honking…I’m reloading.
* Your kid may be an honors student, but you’re still an idiot.
* All generalizations are false.
* Cover me. I’m changing lanes.
* I brake for no apparent reason.
* Learn from your parents’ mistakes – use birth control.
* I’m not as think as you drunk I am.
* Forget about World Peace…Visualize using your turn signal.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* He who laughs last thinks slowest.
* I love cats…they taste just like chicken.
* Rehab is for quitters.
* I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
* Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep.
* Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician.
* I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* Sorry, I don’t date outside my species.
* No radio – Already stolen.
* OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?
* Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it.
* It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
* Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
* Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
* Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
* There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t.
* Caution: I drive like you do.
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