Phil was driving home from the insurance office where he worked when his right rear tire blew. He bumped along to a stop in front of the State Mental Hospital where he noticed that he was being observed by a patient sitting on the grass.
Realizing this was not a dangerous inmate, Phil ignored him and pried off the hubcap. He got the car jacked up and spun the five lug nuts off the wheel, dropping them carefully in the hubcap, which he placed against the curb.
But, struggling to get the flat tire off without dirtying his suit, he accidentally kicked the hubcap, overturning it and spilling the lug nuts into a sewer. This was duly observed by the patient but unnoticed by Phil.
Finally Phil got the old tire off, the new tire on, and was ready to re-place the lug nuts when he saw the hubcap was empty. “What the hell…?” said Phil aloud to no one.
“Excuse me, Sir”, said the patient, “but they fell into the sewer when you kicked the hubcap.”
“Well what the #%$*& am I supposed to do now” said Phil.
“If I might suggest,” said the patient, “borrow a lug nut from each of your other tires. That will hold your spare on until you get to the service station just ahead.”
“Well that’s a great idea”, said Phil. “What are you doing in a mental hospital?”
“I’m not here because I’m stupid”, said the patient. “I’m here because I’m nuts.”
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