No, really, I’m O.K. to drive…
– I’m wasted, and I am too embarrassed to have anybody see who I’m going with
I’m not used to these darts…
– I’m not used to throwing anything smaller than a pool cue when I’m this bombed.
Let’s go out to my car and get some cigarettes…(male to female)
– You would look great face down in my lap.
Want to check out my new car stereo? (male to female)
– I have a cattle prod and some 30 weight in my back seat
You get this one; next round is on me…
– We won’t be here long enough to get another round
I’ll get this one; next round is on you…
– Happy hour is about to end. Drafts are now a dollar, but by the next round they’ll be $4.50 a pop.
I haven’t seen you around here for a long time…
– You stuck-up little bitch…too good for you old friends?
Hey, where’s that friend of yours???
– I have no interest in talking to you except as a way to get your attractive friend into a compromising position
Let’s get out of here
– I just dumped a half a pitcher of beer into that biker’s helmet
Can I get a glass of white zinfandel??? (female)
– I’m easy
Can I get a glass of white zinfandel??? (male)
– I’m gay
Every try a body shot??? (male to female)
– I’ll even drink tequila if it means I get to lick you
Every try a body shot??? (female to male)
– If this is how wild I am in the bar, imagine what I’ll do to you on the ride home.
I don’t feel well. Let’s go home (female to male)
– You are paying more attention to your friends than me
I don’t feel well. Let’s go home (male to female)
– I’m horny
I’ve had ten beers already…
– I’ve only had three but need an excuse to behave this way
Who’s got the next round???
– I haven’t bought a round in almost three years, but I am an expert at diverting attention
Excuse me… (male to male)
– Get the fuck out of the way
Excuse me… (male to female)
– I am going to grope you now
Excuse me… (female to male)
– Don’t even think about groping me. Just get the fuck out of my way.
Excuse me… (female to female)
– Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You’re not all that, missy, and don’t think for one minute that you are. Coming in her dressing like a ho… Get your eyes offa my man, or I’ll slap you, bitch, like the slut you are.
I’m out of here; I have to work in the morning…
– I owe the guy who just walked in the door 100 bucks and have been avoiding him since football season.
What do you have on tap???
– What’s cheap?
You go ahead; I’ll catch a cab…
– I’ve already lined up a ride home with your ex.
That person looks really familiar…
– Did I fuck him/her?
Can I just get a glass of water??? (female)
– I’m annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.
Can I just get a glass of water??? (male)
– It’s 6 am and I just stopped drinking an hour ago. Hell, I probably dropped half of my paycheck in here last night, so it’s the least you can do for me.
Do you have any Wild Turkey???
– I want to make my friend really sick so we can all laugh at him in the morning.
I don’t have my ID on me… (female)
– I’m 19.
I don’t have my ID on me… (male)
– I don’t have a license since I got pulled over and blew a blood alcohol level of .32 after my last visit here.
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