Matt And Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s…
For making friends:
DO – Show off your talents.
DON’T – Shove a harmonica up your butt and play the national anthem.
DO – Tell them about your interest in arts and film.
DON’T – Tell them about your vast child porn collection.
DO – Share your ideas.
DON’T – Share your plan to pull down their pants in public and set their face on fire.
DO – Help them with their problems.
DON’T – Write them down and sell the stories to magazines.
DO – Push them on the swing set.
DON’T – Push them off a balacony into a thorn bush and pee on their head.
DO – Make lemonade for them.
DON’T – Pour it all over their face.
DO – Take them to see a movie.
DON’T – Take them to see `Good Burger’.
DO – Play games with them.
DON’T – Play `Search and Rescue’ by shoving dinky cars up their butt and smashing their face with a fire truck, and spraying them with a hose… In the face.
DO – Make them smile.
DON’T – Push them off a balcony into a thorn bush and pee on their head.
DO – Play catch.
DON’T – Play catch with rabid dogs with ‘T’ bone steaks tied to your nose.
DO – Treat them with respect.
DON’T – Kick them in the groin.
DO – Have them over for dinner.
DON’T – Feed them Great Uncle Slippy’s Mystery dish.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY OF ALL . . .
DO – onto others as you would blah blah blah…
DON’T – Hit them in the face with a rake.
Thanks
Matt & Lennie
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