Matt and Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s…
For Dating:
DO – Take pride in your apperance.
DON’T – Stick a 1988 Blue Jays pennent in your ear.
DO – Use cutlery.
DON’T – Use it to pick your teeth.
DO – Apply a nice fragrance.
DON’T – Apply a wrestling hold.
DO – Change your underwear beforehand.
DON’T – Ask to see theirs.
DO – Make jokes.
DON’T – Use jokes including the words: Gimp, Tits, Ass, or Fart.
DO – Tip the Waiter.
DON’T – Trip the Waiter into the dish-cart resulting in massive facial wounds.
DO – Select a romantic restaurant.
DON’T – Select “Fisherman Joe’s Belly Up”.
DO – Hold doors for your date.
DON’T – Hold them shut.
DO – Offer them your jacket if it’s cold outside.
DON’T – Wait until their not looking and slap them in the back of the head with a large frozen tuna.
DO – Tell them interesting stories.
DON’T – Tell them about the time that you and your two buddies threw eggs at the local fat man until he passed out.
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…
DO – Find a common interest.
DON’T – Throw your pants to the ground and proclaim, “Because they screwed the operation up, I got it for free!”
Thanks,
Matt & Lennie
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