I saw a news report that said 90% of all accidents occur within 10 miles of home…So, I’ve decided to move.
I couldn’t decide whether to by a humidifier or a de-humidifier. So, I bought one of each and put them in the same room. I’m gonna just let them fight it out.
They built a freeway around my house. Now I have to drive 55 mph down my driveway.
I got a dog last week, and I named him Stae. Now, when I want him to come to me, it’s like “come here Stae, come here Stae…he’s so confused.
I saw this written on a bathroom wall. “I want to sleep with your mother”. Beneath it, someone had scrawled “Dad, you’re drunk…Go Home!”
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