Politically Correct Terms for Men and Women

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

She is not a BABE or a CHICK – She is a BREASTED AMERICAN.
She is not a SCREAMER or MOANER – She is VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE. (yep!)
She is not EASY – She is HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.
She does not TEASE or FLIRT – She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.
She is not DUMB – She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.
She has not BEEN AROUND – She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.
She does not GET YOU EXCITED-She causes TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.
She is not KINKY – She is a CREATIVE CARETAKER.
She does not have a KILLER BODY – She is TERMINALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She is not an AIRHEAD – She is REALITY IMPAIRED.
She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY – She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.
She is not HORNY – She is SEXUALLY FOCUSED. (Honk Honk!)
She does not have BREAST IMPLANTS – She is MEDICALLY ENHANCED.
She does not NAG YOU – She becomes orally REPETITIVE
She is not a SLUT – She is SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.
She does not have MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS – She is PECTORALLY SUPERIOR.
She is not a TWO BIT WHORE – She is a LOW COST PROVIDER.
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HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

He does not have a BEER GUT – He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE
FACILITY
He is not a BAD DANCER – He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN
He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME – He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE
DESTINATIONS
He is not BALDING – He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION
He is not a CRADLE ROBBER- He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL
RELATIONSHIPS
He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK-He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL
He does not act like a TOTAL ASS – He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL
INVERSION
He is not a SEX MACHINE – He is ROMANTICALLY AUTOMATED
He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG – He has SWINE EMPATHY
He is not afraid of COMMITMENT – He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED
He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES – He has an INTROSPECTIVE GRAPHIC
MOMENT

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