You know you?re about to be impeached when:
* When you call to congratulate Mark MacGuire,
he lets his answering machine get it.
* Your press secretary keeps introducing you as William Milhous Clinton.
* You?re invited to appear on Jeopardy?s “Impeached Presidents Week.”
* Tipper Gore is in your office measuring it for new curtains.
* Even the nastiest intern won?t give you the time of day.
* The Library of Congress stops letting you sign out books.
* You walk into the Capitol commissary and 500 people simultaneously say, “shhhhh! He?s here!”
* Somebody changed the locks on Monica Lewinsky.
* Suddenly, everyone?s kissing Al Gore?s big cylinder block head.
* Your new Secret Service code name: “Roadkill !!!”
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